Victoria Blisse's 100th Sunday Snog

One of my oldest friends in the biz is Victoria Blisse, who was also one of the first writers I edited professionally.  With so much history between us, I was pleased to be asked to participate in her 100th anniversary Sunday Snog.


Vic asked if I could put up an excerpt and offer a prize, so here is an excerpt from my erotic short entitled En Garde, originally published by Phaze and now available from Purple Prosaic, either on its own or as part of my single author anthology, When There's A Will.

The theme for the 100th Sunday Snog is kissing, so here is the scene where Kelly corners John... and gets him to give her the kiss she's been offering. An offer he keeps talking himself out of acknowledging...

"John? You've got one chance to tell me what it is you see that you don't like."
Startled out of my thoughts, I glanced up hurriedly. Kelly stood in the entrance to the hallway. The pink of her nipples was brilliant against her pale skin. A tattoo of a thin vine sporting thorns and tiny purple flowers circled one breast and trailed down her side and across her mid-section. I tried not to stare at the trimmed patch of brunette hair where it ended and her legs began. I forced my gaze up her naked body to meet hers. 
Those intense hazel eyes held mine, burning with a mixture of anger, frustration, and seduction.
"Kelly, what? What the hell?"
"Oh, come on! I've been fucking throwing myself at you all night. Now you tell me, what is there about me that makes you so unwilling to take a hint? You don't like girls with small tits or
something? Or maybe you just don't like girls, period? Please, John, tell me you're gay. It'll make me feel much better."
She stomped across the living room in her naked glory and I felt the blood in my body rushing to both my face and my cock.
Throwing herself to the couch next to me, she put her hand in my lap with the same decisive, no-nonsense attitude she showed in her fighting.
"Okay, so you aren't gay. And you do like what you see. So tell me, why haven't you kissed me yet?"
A million possible replies crossed my mind in an instant. None of them were adequate, so I ignored them. I lifted my hands to the back of her head and pulled her lips to mine.
Her mouth opened with a moan and I thrust my tongue in to wrangle with hers. My hands twisted in her hair and I crushed her lips against mine, pouring all the longing energy I had spent
the evening conserving into the effort. I didn't stop to question the reality of the situation; I just kissed her as hard as I could.

For a prize, I am offering an e-book copy of the anthology containing En Garde.  I'll leave it to the lovely Ms. Blisse to determine how the winner is determined.

R.I.P. Frederik Pohl

Frederick Pohl died Monday at the age of ninety-three.  One of the last remaining links to the beginnings of science fiction, Pohl was not only a great author, but an agent and editor as well.  He was also a veteran of World War II, serving in the U.S. Army in Italy.

Pohl was one of the memorable writers who helped me come to love the idea that there was more to the world than what I could see in front of me.  Thank you for that, sir.  My thoughts and prayers to Elizabeth, your wife of twenty-nine years, and to the three daughters, son and grandchildren and great-grandchildren who will miss you so much more than I will.

Juggling Lives

It's not a new thing for me to feel as though I've too many masters.  Nor is it something I find dismaying.  But it can get a little confusing at times.

As an author of erotica, there are certain things you just have to keep separate.  I learned a hard lesson in this a few years ago, when I actually lost a job because of what I wrote.  Not that my writing was the only factor, but as the emotional distance from that time has increased I have been able to more clearly see that it was the deciding one.  It was a perfect storm of a situation, and there were other influences.  But the spool that the varied threads converged on was my writing, and without it I would not have lost that job.

That's hard.  Especially when you go to apply for other "real world" jobs and they want to know why you left your last one.

This summer has been one of transition for me.  I've had the same day job for about three and a half years and it was time to make a change.  I was in a bad financial place and the current job was only enough to keep my head from disappearing beneath the waves.  There was never going to be a swell I could ride to the beach.

So, I took steps.  I made the legal decision to liquidate my debt.  I found a new job in a completely divergent industry.  I had a plan.  Like any plan, it lasted about as long as it took to write it before circumstances forced it to change.  The job I was supposed to transition to got delayed by multiple factors.  Despite the forward movement on solvency, finances again reared their head in the form of an unanticipated large-scale vehicle repair. 

And, of course, while the new job is worthwhile, it has a public side that again forces my writing to be treated as, at the very least, a privacy issue.

The more things change....

Morning Mist

With the sky a low-hanging quilt of white and grey, time stands still.  The dew still stands on the deck, and the insect chorus seems unsure whether day has arrived or not.  The sun is a stranger this morning, and the hour could as easily be six as nine.

An illusion, of course.  Today is a day of monumental change in my household, as one of us steps beyond education as threat and social requirement and into that realm where it becomes a true choice.  I thrived in that change and I hope and believe he will too.  We shall see.

But he is still abed and the rest of the house is vacant, with some at school and some at work and me musing about mists on the porch.

I wouldn't mind if time really did stand still here for a bit.

Para-Palooza

In my time in the business of telling stories, I've had the very real pleasure of meeting and enjoying the company of several others who have chosen this rather masochistic life.

Several of them are participating in the upcoming Smutketeers.com event called Para-Palooza.  Including yours truly, who is really trying to get back to a place where people know he exists in this rather crowded field.

The lineup  in that graphic is impressive.  Even intimidating.  There are a lot of writers on that list that I know personally and admire.  I am, quite possibly, the least accomplished of them.  Which makes it all the more flattering that I was invited to contribute, and quite a bit more intimidating.

There's a truth to my own personal philosophy that sometimes seems self-defeating.  I am far more motivated by the welfare of others than I am by my own.  Yes, that can be turned into an asset and I would like to think I've successfully done that at times, through my contributions to charities like Coming Together and coaching little league and helping teach martial arts.  But at times when I start to doubt myself, it is anything but good.

I'm trying hard to believe I belong in that company.

But whether I do or not ( I do, really.  I'm a good writer.  I suck at promoting myself and I trip over my tongue at times, but I can spin a yarn.) I am going to enjoy sharing their virtual company.  I hope you will join us for the fun.

Too Much Equals Too Little

I had largely ignored my diverse net history for the last several years.  I have a website that links back to this blog, a Wordpress, a Livejournal, Twitter, Facebook... I probably even still have a MySpace page out there somewhere.

Consolidation.  It needs to happen. 

I need one place to go post thoughts and then disseminate it.  That way, instead of an email about a spam comment reminding me I have a Wordpress blog I haven't touched since 2009, I would write one post and update multiple destinations.  Then, if I want to rant, share or muse, it reaches far more people.

Instead, because I have too many possible destinations, I have too little content in any one place.  Time to learn how to change that.  I know it can be done, I know others who do it.  Time for me to follow their example.

High Hopes and Realistic Goals

Real Vampires Don't Surf released Friday.  The culmination of years of false starts and real changes and a great example of how I've grown as a writer.  It's the best fiction I've ever written.

Of course, I hope that I will always say that with every new book.  That should be the goal, right?  To always be improving, to keep learning the craft, for each and every blade you forge to be a bit sharper ad more durable than the last.

There are some other goals with this one.  Promo has never been my strongest point, despite the fact that I write decent ad copy.  I'm just not very aggressive about getting out there in front of a virtual room full of people with a finite amount of dollars and going "Hey! MY book deserves those dollars!"

I do believe that.  My book, especially this one, absolutely deserves your purchasing decision.  At $3.99 for ebook and on sale for $10.49 in paperback, it's a bargain.  It will give you a great entertainment return on investment.

I need to see something come back on this one.  I don't need to top Amazon's charts or get a movie deal.  But I sure would like to break into four figures on the unit sales.  I think that's both ambitious and realistic.  If I can sell 1000 copies, it would justify the sweat/time investment in the sequel.  And it would pay for the re-manufactured engine  my Subaru needs.

A Cruel and Selfish God

Marriage equality has made many headlines lately, thanks to a Prop 8 case and a DOMA case making it to oral arguments in the Supreme Court.

As usual, this brings both proponents and opponents out in force.  I think if you have read anything by me, you know where I stand.  So rather than address that, I want to address something that is what you might call a sub-argument.

The most hardcore opponents tend to base their reasoning on religion.  And in the United States, the ones doing the most noticeable arguing are certain sects of the Christian faith.  I qualify that for two reasons.  One, the most stubborn opposition world wide is not Christian.  The Muslim faith definitely seems more angry and violent and, unfortunately, united about it.  Two, there are many Christians who have no problem with marriage equality.  And some of those remain strong on the idea that God doesn't sanction these unions.  They simply are able to differentiate between marriage, the civil institution, and Holy Matrimony.

The ones that are not making that distinction and are being the most vocal about it in the U.S. tend to trumpet scripture as proof.  And here is where we get to what is rubbing me today.  Why would you want to prove to me that God said this?

If I say to you, "Murder is wrong," do you answer back "Yes.  I studied and in my studies I came across Exodus 20 and that says you are right?"  Or are you more likely to just say, "Yes, it is."  You don't feel the need to quote scripture to prove murder is wrong.  Likely, this is because there is nothing in you telling you that you need an excuse to believe murder is wrong.  You can feel it.  You know it is wrong.  

But with marriage equality, you feel like you need scriptural proof.  And the reason is simple.  You want justification.  Because your own mind argues with you about it.  Deep inside, there is a little voice that raises questions about why and what if.  The reason that voice is questioning you is because, intellectually, you know that Ben and Robert getting married does nothing to prevent the happiness of George and Martha.

So, you get out your Bible and you argue.  You find verses that support your position. (more on that another time.  For the present, assume the verses are not tainted by translation or time & place or by later scripture disavowing the earlier rules.)  You present these as proof that your loving and just God never intended Ben & Robert or Julie & Theresa or any other same sex marriage.  And then you usually throw in something about eternal damnation and disobeying the will of God.

Now here is what I don't get.  You work so hard and prove this.  And let's accept that it is proven.  You get out your Bible and you prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that God says that marriage equality is wrong.  Maybe you even acknowledge that none of the individual couples being argued about have done anything wrong.  Maybe you agree they deserve every chance for happiness.  But God SAYS no.

What have you actually proven?  What does your argument prove to me if you prove that, even though everyone is human and deserves love and happiness and equality before the law, God says that they should not be allowed to marry?

You have proven to me that your god is cruel, unjust and not worthy of my worship.  You have proven to me that your god discriminates and indulges sadistic impulses among the very children he created.  You have proven to me that your god is selfish and angry and hateful.  You have proven to me that I John 4 is wrong.  God is most certainly NOT love.

So, what I am saying is maybe you should not work so hard to prove that to me.  Maybe, just maybe, you ought to listen to that little questioning voice.  Because maybe, just maybe, the voice you fear is that of Satan... isn't.

Real Vamps Word Cloud

Election Eve

And now we come to it..

The arguments have all been made.  The odds that I'm going to sway anyone's vote, small in September, unlikely in October...are now infinitesimal in November.  Decisions have been made and tomorrow they will be implemented.

By some.

Why? Why do people not vote?  I can honestly say that I have missed voting opportunities...rarely, but it has happened for various reasons.  But when it has happened I have been regretful and perhaps most importantly, noticed the fact.  Which meant I could plan to avoid repeating the mistake.

But I know people who blow it off.  Who just don't do it.  And it isn't, for the most part, that they think it unimportant.  They will tell you, if confronted, that voting is important.  So why don't they vote?

The reasons are legion.  Yet the one thing they share is that all of them are less reasons than they are excuses.

Vote.  Maybe you'll vote as I do, maybe not.  Maybe you will vote for Barack Obama.  Maybe for Jill Stein.  Maybe for Roseanne Barr (yes, she is on the ballot in many states.)  Maybe you will even vote for Mitt Romney, in which case it could be said that my telling you to vote worked against my own purposes.  But vote, no matter what.

It is important.  People have sacrificed for the opportunity, even died.  You have this moment, this moment of power. You have a voice and it will be heard, even if only momentarily.  That is something almost unique in history, especially if you are a woman or a non-property owner.

VOTE!

The Staying Power of Hate

It's amazing, really.

Every time I read a post on a site like Politico and venture down to the comments, I find the same thing. And I hear it and notice it every single day outside the domain of the internet as well.

The hatred of the right for Barack Obama is all but mind-numbing in its complexity and longevity. I have seen comments that defy description. The reach that some people are willing to make in their attempt to rationalize their own dislike is both confusing and, in a disturbing way, admirable.

I wonder if it was like this in 1962? Now, fifty years later, the common thread is that Kennedy was beloved. But I know from reading sources that were contemporary to him that this was not universally true. Comparisons between Obama and JFK were very popular four years ago, but I haven't seen any lately.

There is a lot of anecdotal evidence to suggest that the kind of talk you find in the comment section of political websites today was very much in existence during Kennedy's time. However, it wasn't recorded for posterity the way almost everything is in the internet era.

We do know that JFK was a radically polarizing figure, and that those who disliked him often had deep-seated and all but unaddressable reasons for it. Reasons that had far more to do with the belief structures they were raised with than any sum of factual information.

This seems to be true for Obama as well. The Obama haters are devoid of any interest in providing the slightest edge for an alternate opinion. It is as though the core of their own self-image is reliant upon this need to see the President as evil and unamerican. They dismiss anything and everything remotely positive about him and emphasize and trumpet anything that feeds their delusions.

It is enough to make me actively wonder about our ability to provide enough medication to help these people through the next four years if Obama wins.

Judge it for yourself. Dismiss the most extreme comments from either side...because edges do exist for every point of opinion. Then look at the mass that remains.

From those fervently opposed to Mitt Romney, I find a lot of comments that sound something like, "Oh, I'm sure Mitt loves his family but I just don't want him running the country because I think he is wrong." At worst, the comments are "He is just like the rest of them." (Them meaning anything from Republicans to big business to political opportunists, depending on the speaker.)

From those opposed to Obama, it is more like, "Well, he might not ACTUALLY be the anti-christ, but I'm not so sure..."

And that is barely an exaggeration. Out of the 35-40% of America that forms the Republican base, I honestly believe that three fourths of them actively hate the President. Not dislike or disagree with...HATE.

That isn't rational.

On the positive side, if we could isolate the chemical behind it we could probably revolutionize medicine. Because something that able to kill rationality ought to be at least partially effective against cancer.

A Quick Word About Advertising...

So, just after I publish my last post, I go and look at the blog page. And the ad above my post is for Mitt Romney.

First impulse, find a way to opt out. Then I thought harder.

Go for it, dude. *grin* Because the one thing I would absolutely love is to get in a discussion on this blog about the "real facts" of Mitt Romney's record. Like how as Governor of Massachusetts he was for gay rights, a woman's right to choose, universal healthcare... well, basically the Democratic Platform.

So, yeah. Let Google Adwords put Romney stuff on my page. The irony is sweet.

A Change in Demographics?

I was reading something earlier from a G.O.P. point of view that was expressing disbelief in how they could be losing an election when the incumbent was saddled with an economy that is still in horrible shape.

The conclusion was that if Barack Obama wins re-election, it will show that there has been a dramatic change in what they referred to as the demographics of the country. That term, in this context, primarily coming from South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, who gave us this immortal observation:

"The demographics race we're losing badly.We're not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term." (Washington Post quote)

That's a fact, but it is short-sighted. Yes, The GOP has most definitely narrowed its focus far too much and they are undeniably most appealing to "angry white guys." But there is far more to it.

The Republican Party is focused on the problems of its leadership, and despite their attempts to run every member with the slightest pigmentation, anatomy or surname that hints of diversity in front of a camera, that leadership is angry, white, male and both upper class and middle-aged.

And to an upper-class, middle-aged white male, this election should be about the economy. And if you are against Barack Obama, you want it to be only about the economy. Because if this election is only about the economy and you look at indicators of past performance in presidential elections as they refer to economic conditions at the time of the trip to the polls, it isn't even close. Obama should lose. Especially if he is up against a man with a strong business record, indicators of religious piety and a history of bipartisanship. All of which is true about Mitt Romney.

But Americans seem to have learned something. The President does have some power economically, but he is helpless without the assistance of Congress --- and that means not just the Senate, but the House. And the Republicans have quite successfully denied him that cooperation, very publicly and without excuse or even any attempt to conceal why. To defeat the President in 2012.

Apparently, America has noticed. And the result of noticing is that they aren't blaming the President for the economy. They are dividing the blame equally.

Which means that other factors are of equal importance. And this is where the demographics kick in. Because the President has far more power over some other things...especially what the GOP likes to refer to as "liberal social issues."

They call them "liberal" social issues because they are trapped in their pandering to one extreme of the social strata...the religious right. And of course, in our nation that means Evangelical Christianity.

In the next four years, we may have as many as four new Supreme Court justices. We will probably decide the legality of gay marriage. We will see significant challenges to the existing definitions of legal immigration and abortion. We will see the end of U.S. direct involvement in the conflict in Afghanistan. We will see consistently escalating fossil fuel prices as India and China continue to expand their consumption of these limited resources. We will continue to see the growth of retired Americans as a percentage of population, which means increased need for health care and income that does not rely on physical labor. We will see dramatic upheaval in the way the people of the Middle East govern themselves.

All that is far more within the influence of a President than the simple focus on budget and unemployment numbers.

It isn't demographics that have changed, Mr. Graham. After all, the majority of the country hasn't been angry, white and male...ever. And the majority of the voting population hasn't been white or male since all Americans became eligible to vote, including those formerly in bondage, both literal and domestic. I may concede that, at times, the majority of the voting population has been angry.

No, what has changed is that they are educated. And though you would dearly love to return to a time when they believed what you and your ilk told them because they had no other source of information, that isn't going to happen. Indeed, the likelihood of it is about the same as that of you discovering a new, inexhaustible supply of angry white guys.

Relative Silence Broken

As most of you who have read this blog know, I lean slightly to the liberal side in political thought. I know, right? I mean, who would have ever imagined that was true based on my prior posts?

I've never been shy about it. But I haven't posted much on the election this year...in sharp contrast to 2008. True, in 2008 I was still living in California and I was motivated by my almost desperate opposition to Prop 8, which I always felt had a scary possibility of passing. Fears which were, of course, ultimately proven to be prescient.

This year, there is no Prop 8 to post about and I have also fallen prey to a bit of the ambivalence that many of my liberal brethren have. Four years ago, Barack Obama was not just a candidate, he was an impossible dream. Not only his race, although that was undeniably a part of it. No, it was his appeal to the positive side of us that helped generate so much enthusiasm.

I am much more motivated by hope than I am by fear. I know that may sound a little off based on the fact that I just invoked Prop 8, but I still believe it to be true.

The other thing is that while I bitch and moan about negatives as much as anyone, I rarely want to write more than a soundbite on them. And this 2012 campaign seems to be all about the negative. Obama is not preaching hope and change, he is attacking Romney... and Mitt? Oh, wow. I have so little positive feeling about the man. The last time I posted, it was about the bullying that had come to light. And now, I am writing on the heels of his 47% gaffe...

Only, it is hard to call it a gaffe when the attitude behind it has been so consistently made clear.

I am amazed that this is still a race. Yet, it is. There is a long time to go before the election. We haven't even had any debates yet.

I started out today thinking I was going to express my feelings about Mitt and his abhorrent comments... but there is time for that still. Now, as I type, the thought most in the forefront of my mind is bewilderment.

How have we, the grass roots who drove Obama to the White House, managed to show so much apathy this year? Mitt Romney makes John McCain look progressive. I went into 2008 thinking that it wouldn't be the worst thing ever if McCain won. I had far more confidence in him than I do in Mitt. Yet, I fought hard for Obama. In words published and spoken to friends and strangers alike.

I haven't been motivated to do that as forcefully this year. And I am not sure I understand that, because I think Mitt Romney would be an absolute disaster for this nation.

I need to speak out more. And all of us who look at the possibility of a Romney presidency with the same trepidation I do need to join me.

In 2008, despite all I did do, I spent the weeks after the election wondering if I could have done more to defeat H8. And that was after I could honestly say I had worked at it and sacrificed much, including a friendship that had lasted since 1982 and has never recovered from the hurtful feelings exchanged over that election.

I don't want to do the same with Romney. So, polls that show a widening Obama lead don't comfort me. They scare me. Because I think the worst enemy we have, and the thing the Republicans are counting on, is complacency among those who swept Obama into office.

It's time to get off the couch.

Marriage: Facts vs. Emotion

We hear it all the time, and we slap back with examples all the time.

"The Bible says marriage is between one man and one woman." Or "Marriage has been about one man and one woman for (insert number of thousands of years.)"

Which supporters of same sex marriage, certainly including myself, respond to with facts. About the institution of marriage, about the Bible, about anything that makes us feel better. Because that is what it is...we are addressing how we feel about their statement. Because while the things that we are stating are completely true, their truth and the fact (that word again) that they invalidate the argument make absolutely no difference in the mind of the person who made the original statement.

Because their position has, in reality, nothing to do with what the Bible says. Or what the tradition is. Or whether or not the "traditional" view of marriage they espouse is actually less than two hundred years old.

It has to do with emotion. It has to do with how they feel about same sex marriage, not about whether or not it makes logical sense.

They can't bring up a logic argument, at least one not involving religion (logic and religion are a whole separate conversation,) that supports their position. We know it, and deep down most of them know it too.

But what we can't dispute is how they feel. A cartoon I saw this morning had a gay marriage opponent admitting in the final panel that "Gay people are icky." And that is what we are fighting.

Because, if we are going to truly believe in the freedom of personal opinion, we can't tell them that they aren't allowed to feel that way. We can tell them why we feel they are short-sighted, bigoted, insecure, fearful, insular and dozens of other things. We can not tell them they are wrong to have an opinion. We can only disagree with it based on our opinion.

There are thousands of young people out there who think Tupac is still alive. Thousands of middle aged people who feel the same about Elvis. Thousands who believe that aliens are among us. Millions who think the GOP has the best interests of the people at heart. You will not win a single one of those arguments with facts, and we won't win this one with facts either.

It's emotion. They can deal with the fact that faceless people in California or Massachusetts or Iowa are gay and married and that their position is threatening those couples happiness...because they don't have any personal feelings about those people like they do about the pastor that is nice to their kids or comforted grandma when grandpa died. They don't care about denying happiness to people they don't like or know. (The morality of that when most of them follow a religion that specifically tells them they are, above all, supposed to care about that...is, again, a separate conversation.)

They care about disappointing people they love or admire. And let's face it, most of the older generation are never going to know or care about any gay people.

Except Doogie Howser. Yeah, that one gets to them. (Go Neil!)

They are too isolated. The people they listen to and discuss these things with all think the same way they do. The percentage of the people they knew that are gay either fled their little circles for the edges of the country thirty years ago or are so deep in denial that they punish themselves with self hate and express it outwardly as just plain hate. (Until they get caught in an airport bathroom in Minneapolis.)

Which is not say there isn't hope. Or that there aren't ways to reach them. It is just difficult. And facts will only help after we reach them emotionally enough to get a little bit of doubt in there with all that anger and hostility.

So I'm not saying to leave behind the facts. But remember that it isn't logic you are talking to. It is "Gay people are icky."

Why Romney's Bully Past Matters

Last week, the Washington Post reported an incident in which GOP Candidate Mitt Romney engaged in a scene out of teenage nightmares.

Some might call that statement a bit strong.

I disagree. The report from the Post was corroborated by five of Romney's classmates, including at least one who actually helped. The details of that incident are available freely around the net and I encourage you to Google them. But let's talk about why those details are still important, rather than what they are.

First, there is the denial from Romney that he remembers the incident. Admittedly, I would find this only mildly troubling if it were not for the fact that his time at Cranbook has been pointed to as the genesis of his leadership skills. Romney learned not only to fit in but to fit in despite being, in many ways that mattered a lot in 1965, "different." Also, our senior years in high school tend to be rather memorable, as anyone who makes teen angst comedies can tell you while they count their box office dollars.

The problem with that is how Mitt Romney was handed an opportunity to be forthcoming and to stand up and say, "fifty years ago I did something wrong, and I am sorry." And instead, he played it off with the political equivalent of "boys will be boys."

Really? So, holding down a screaming kid and hacking off his hair is just good-natured fun? In Mr. Romney's words, "hijinks?" No. This was not putting a picnic table on the school roof or green food color in the cafeteria eggs. This was a violent attack on a young man who was different and forcing him to conform despite his protests, fear and the very real possibility of permanent injury. (Yes, I consider wielding scissors near the ears of a struggling victim a risk of disfiguring injury.)

What makes it worse is that Romney himself had overcome issues about being different. He was of a different religion than his classmates, one that has always struggled with being perceived as almost a cult. He was not very athletic yet hung out with boys who clearly were (Thomas Buford,who assisted Romney, was the school's wrestling champion.) Romney, to his credit, found ways around these things and rose to become a school leader. But that also means, he should have known how the boy he attacked felt. Either he did not, which indicates a lack of empathy, or he ignored those feelings, which is cruelty.

So why should this matter, fifty years later? Romney has a lifetimes worth of seasoning, and it seems self-relevant that he is probably a far wiser and less violent person today. And, after all, how many of us didn't do something stupid in high school we later wished we could take back?

Certainly, we all have adolescent regrets. Those times form the people we are now. And I certainly do not feel Mitt Romney should not be allowed some of them.

The problem I have is this: his behavior has become less dramatic, but his rationale for it seems to have remained.

Romney attacked the boy because he was different and he didn't want to allow that to go unpunished, perhaps especially after Romney himself had made the effort to change. According to the article, Romney said, “He can’t look like that. That’s wrong. Just look at him!” And that is incredibly characteristic of this man's behavior even today.

Mitt wants to force people to conform to his perception of right and wrong now, just as much as then. He wants you to pursue the same reproductive choices as his family and friends, he wants to define social institutions in favor of his friends perceptions. He thinks you should meet his expectations, or the expectations of his society, and if you don't, you "can't" be allowed to get away with it.

That's a bully. And whether he is wielding scissors or the power of the executive office, it is still a matter of him imposing his will on you.

Santorum Bows Out

So now its set. Romney vs. Obama.

I saw an article yesterday that called Romney the weakest candidate since Dukakis put on a helmet and sat in a tank. And that's true. So why?

Why do I feel like this is going to be close? Mitt Romney, who created the blueprint for "Obamacare" in Massachusetts. Who is a poster boy for "rich and out of touch." Who couldn't put away Gingrich and Santorum without spending a ridiculous amount of money. Who some doubted would win the GOP primary in his home state.

Obama should win this in a walkover. He won't. He'll have to fight for it. I wish I could understand why. He's accomplished more against worst resistance than any President I can remember. Reagan and Clinton accomplished things, but didn't have this opposition. Carter had the opposition, but all his successes were in foreign policy. He couldn't get his own party to cooperate domestically.

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. He got Bin Laden. He restored much of the good will the U.S. lost among our allies during Bush's foreign policy "adventures." He signed landmark domestic legislation regarding equal pay for women, health care, consumer credit protection, and was appeal to finally remove the barriers against gay Americans serving their country. Many of those were things Clinton tried and failed to achieve.

I wish I could believe that race wasn't the issue.

Story Submitted, Brady Bunch Time Coming...

I finished the short story I was working on in time to submit it before heading to Balticon over Memorial Day weekend... yay me! We'll see what the editor/publisher's opinion of it is and I will announce it here when I hear yay or nay. If they do not decide to include it, I will find an alternate venue, I promise.

Speaking of Balticon, this was the third year I have attended and I come home every year having enjoyed it just a little bit more. It is not my "normal" con because I am all but an unknown there. Very few of the people I see there have ever read much of my writing. Those that have are more friends and colleagues than audience, so to speak. So it is a very low pressure environment. I really should try my hand at fantasy or science fiction eventually. Yeah, I've written several paranormal things, but I mean classical science fiction...or at least space opera. I've always read SF and Fantasy for pleasure. Perhaps I fear writing it will remove that pleasure. Hmmmm...

This weekend, the under twenty-one population of the household expands from three to five. My absolute favorite six weeks of the year, when the children of my body come to stay and I have my step-spawn and blood-spawn all under the same roof. I feel more complete during this time. Yes, it makes free time almost non-existent. But I suffer that gladly. I miss my kids, and as much as I enjoy the company of my three younger housemates, there is always that emotional distance that comes with the fact that I am not their father.

But for the next six weeks, my kids are more than voices on a phone. *GRIN* I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!

Yeah, I must be some kind of crazy. I am actually looking forward to six weeks with five teenagers in the house. Wow.

Keeping the Habit Going...

Since blogging Saturday about my recent frustrations on the writing side, I started yet another story... only this one is specifically for a call I noticed that ends June 1st.

The idea is that by putting a deadline there, I can try and force myself to write. Sure, I'm writing for an open call. There is no guarantee in that and the piece may not be chosen. But that doesn't mean it will necessarily be a fruitless exercise.

The call is for work between 2500 and 8000 words, so I am not committing to a novel or anything. But finishing even a short work will be a step in the right direction. It's a call for college years themed erotica, and my college experiences were a fertile field for my early ventures into erotica. This time, I chose an event from my actual past and I am tweaking it to turn out differently. The central idea is the chance to relive a decision that I don't necessarily regret but where I have wondered about alternative outcomes.

I'm not changing the initial point of decision, the place that could have really gone either way, because I like the choice I made. It was one of those moments where I feel like I lived up to my ideals... doing something the right way, despite there being a personal cost.

However, I am changing the aftermath of that decision. That is where the "What if..." portion comes in to play.

So far, I written just over 2000 words and have almost reached the point where speculation will diverge from reality. Not that the story is exactly what happened and certainly the dialogue is not accurate. I mean, it was twenty years ago and I have trouble remembering things with that detail after twenty minutes.

So it isn't really a "true story." It is more like based on what maybe could have been a real story if the persons in the story might have concentrated a little less on what things appeared to be and a little more on what they really wanted.

But I'm having fun with it. And it has been a while since I wrote for fun.

It Isn't Really Writer's Block

My writing has been at a standstill lately. I keep making myself promises to get moving again, and then other things get in the way or I sit at the keyboard and just stare until I finally click over to Facebook or open the news or a blog. I've constantly wondered what I am lacking.

There are several things one needs to write. Some fall under motivation, some ability or talent, some logistical.

The opportunity to write, the time in other words, is there. Oh, I'm busy. Very busy. I get up Monday through Friday and head to work, of course. Then I come home and four days a week the turnaround time until heading to the dojang for taekwondo is short, but not THAT short. Three of those days I have at least an hour of down time. And there are all the other things that need doing. Sleep, sustenance, laundry. But I have not picked up my PS3 controller or booted up Fallout or Neverwinter Nights in weeks. And I usually have the whole weekend with only minor commitments. So although my time is tight, there are places where I could sit down and bang away at wordsmithing.

All the incentive is there, at least rationally. And I sure as hell could use the money, more now than ever. I have two WIP's that are already sold; contracts aren't signed, but the publishers have been waiting on the finished work for quite some time and have not made any indication that they have changed their mind. One was even up on a Coming Soon page --- and was "coming soon" for way tooooo long. Eventually, when the site got updated, it came off.

I also have plenty of work started, in various stages of completion. Most of them stalled at around 30K. I have even more tales with the outlines of a plot on paper (virtual and otherwise) and no shortage of ideas. So, the creativity is there. The ideas have never stopped flowing.

I think it might boil down to two things, and they are related. Audience and enjoyment. When I first turned my mind back to writing, I had both of those. I started with sportswriting, of course. And audience was never a problem with those blogs, especially after I started working for a national website and had their linkages. I didn't always get heavy feedback on each post, but I could see the numbers as far as pageloads. And I did get comments, sometimes dozens of them.

When I started writing erotica and erotic romance, it was at Literotica and I again had feedback... some of it very strong. The negative stuff rarely bothered me. In some ways it was more energizing then the good stuff. And the community and the standards of the AH and the audience made me a better writer.

But the money at Lit is non-existent. Yeah, a couple of contest wins -- but that doesn't pay bills, it just feeds the ego and lets you splurge on a minor indulgence. The sports money was better and more predictable, but was strictly a secondary income source. You could make more money collecting aluminum cans than I did as a "professional sportswriter."

The enjoyment of creation is fine. I still get that. Liking my own turn of phrase or plot point. But the second step in enjoying writing, for me at least, is having someone react. The greatest compliment you can receive as a writer is when people believe your fiction is real. I've had people argue with me. "That's wrong, because she would never do that!" What a compliment, when a reader gets mad at me because the creation of my imagination is so completely real to them that they honestly believe that character has a life and a personality outside my skull.

I need to find that part again. I am no Emily Dickinson in talent... but also, I am not one in temperament. I can not sit alone and create my art for it's own sake. My art is only complete when it has created, or failed to create, an emotion in my audience.

Of course, the dilemma is that in order to find an audience... I HAVE TO FINISH SOMETHING!

Grrrrrrrrr...