Monday, May 28, 2007

Martian Child

So, some of you know that I'm just a little bit of a movie buff.

Okay, so I'm a fan. A geek. I can tell you things about Casablanca most people never even noticed. (By the way, the most famous line from the movie never actually appears in the movie and the second most famous line is severely misquoted *grin*) And we aren't even talking about Star Wars or Indiana Jones yet.

And I don't even want to bring up Monty Python.

Anyway, I just watched the trailer for a new film. What I want to know is this. How can I get John Cusack to like my stories? Because John Cusack has the greatest eye for scripts I can imagine and maybe if he liked my stories it would mean they were well-written. Seriously. This man has a fantastic eye for scripts. He has a feel for great writing. Say Anything. Grosse Pointe Blank. Tin Men. Runaway Jury. Being John Malkovich. Serendipity. High Fidelity. You can argue it, sure. Point out things that weren't commercially successful. But John Cusack, though a little bit focused on romantic comedy and long trapped in teen angst, has an incredible feel for the great line.

Cusack is not the greatest actor of our generation. I hate to tell all of you that want to vilify him for Titanic, but DiCaprio will eventually wear that crown. Forget Titanic. What about Gilbert Grape? Catch Me If You Can? Gangs of New York? Romeo? The Departed? Blood Diamond? Quit being jealous of his looks and admit he can act.

But Cusack has an even better eye. "Just think of it as a bigger box". The man has a great eye for the great line. No famous last words. Top ten break ups. Think about it.

I want John Cusack to make a movie from one of my stories.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

And The Winner Is...

Fellow paranormal author ROB GRAHAM with: "My soul's in quite enough danger already!"

Thanks for playing, Rob, and congratulations! In addition to your prize, we've arbitrarily decided that you get to explain to our readers exactly why your soul's in so much danger. Nah, just kidding! Readers, if you really do want to know why Rob's soul is in mortal danger, read his "Discovery" from Phaze or "In The Dark," his vampire anthology from Aspen Mountain Press. We were surprised to see Rob's entry, but hey... most of us were fans first. That's why we started writing!

And wait, there's more ...

We decided (since we got a LOT of loot at RT and since we got another entry we really liked) to give a prize to our runner up, Liz, who submitted: "You're afraid your reason would be posted as the winning entry, and then everyone at work would realize what you're really reading on your IPAQ during business meetings."

Both Rob & Liz will receive a box o' goodies including books and promo swag from our recent trip to the Romantic Times BOOKlovers Convention in Houston. Those will go out as soon as we get shipping addresses.

We'll continue discussing ArtiFactual in June as Coffee Time Romance has chosen it as its book of the month! We're very pleased to have the opportunity to get to know all of you better and hope that you will join us in the CTR discussion forum in the near future.

Thanks to everyone who made the effort to give us such great entries and for providing us with some fun along the way. Oh, and somebody tell Fag-Ash Lil that neither of us smoke...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Fantasies II Released by Phaze!

My latest is out at Phaze!

Mixed Blessings is the lead story in the new Phaze Fantasies II ! For a small price (a very affordable $6.50) you get not only my 30K word novella but also works from Stella & Audra Price, Petula Ceasar & Sarah Dickson! It's a great mix and a wonderful way for you to discover three new authors while also getting to read a fantastic work from an author that you already know!

Here is a blurb for Mixed Blessings:

Jim’s dreams have all come true.
Jim was a man that learned a hard lesson five years ago. Now he has recovered and built a business to be proud of and a solid foundation for his future. After five years of living in the dark, the lights have come on. The one thing that was missing in his life has been right in front of him the whole time. Now that he is no longer blind, he’s off to see if she can help heal the rest of him.
But Jim is about to find out that there is a reason some men wear dark glasses when they emerge into the bright California sun…

Happy Mother's Day!

To my own mother and grandmother, to the mother of my children and to all of my wonderful friends who sacrifice so much and give so much of themselves for their little ones, whether they be two years old or twenty. You are all an inspiration to me and I wish all of you a joyous and happy Mother's Day!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

This Is All Carolan Ivey's Fault!

Another blog game, courtesy of author Carolan Ivey, a new friend from Romantic Times...

Directions - POST RULES

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Eight random facts and or habits?

1. I remember when In N’ Out’s “secret menu” really was secret and I know how to create an “In & Out urge” bumper sticker.
2. I almost got expelled from high school for piercing my ear.
3. I’ve bought “reading copies” of my very favorite books so I can keep the originals in better shape.
4. I have a half-sister that I didn’t know existed until 1991.
5. I learned how to type on a manual typewriter and still “strike” the keys, meaning that I type much louder than many people I know.
6. I’ve considered myself a poet most of my life, but never felt like a writer until a couple years ago.
7. I love Will Shakespeare and Kit Marlowe.
8. Yes, I really did own parachute pants in the eighties.

Okay, I'll "tag" some people later... right now, it's off to the little league fields!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Contest Expansion and Extension

Back on the release date for Artifactual: Tales of the Erotique Mystique Alessia and I decided to run a contest over at our joint site. What we didn't know was just how crazy and overwhelming RT was gonna be... and how it would affect us running the contest. Most of the things we collected are still in the custody of the US Mail. That includes some contest entries... Thus we can't fairly judge our entries and announce a winner yet. So we've decided to extend and expand the contest.

The details are covered below. The second entry down is the post Alessia did on the RT review so you can see what started it all. We'd love to get a few more entries. We have plenty of swag coming (I spent more money shipping free stuff than I did buying things) so don't fear coming up dry with a late entry. If you make us laugh, you'll likely be rewarded for it!

Contest: The Top Ten Reasons NOT to Buy Artifactual

UPDATE: Entry deadline extended to May 15th.

ArtiFactual: Tales of the Erotique MystiqueOkay, maybe we're being a bit snarky -- and we're aware that it's considered gauche for authors to rebut their reviews -- but our feelings about RT's review of ArtiFactual require some sort of response or we're just gonna explode. So, we're gonna have some fun with it in the form of a contest. We let off some steam, and our readers win prizes. Sounds like a silver lining to us!

Here's the deal: Below, we've listed nine of the Top Ten Reasons NOT to buy ArtiFactual: Tales of the Erotique Mystique. We want YOU to give us the number one reason. Judging is entirely subjective. In other words, we'll decide the winner based on how hard we laugh. Ties and consolation prizes are possible, at our whim. No purchase necessary to win, but obviously we'd prefer you read the book before entering. That's the whole point, after all -- to increase sales.

Here's the prize: We're going to RT soon (April 25-29). There will be freebies galore -- books & miscellaneous swag (including our chocolate-raspberry San Diego Sunset body wash). We will collect as much of it as possible into one big prize basket. On top of that, we'll include an autographed CD copy of ArtiFactual and a $5 gift certificate to the Phaze store.

We'll announce the winner on May 1st, so you've 3 weeks to read ArtiFactual and send your entry to us at Artistically.Inclined.LLP [at] (Please put TOP TEN REASONS CONTEST in the subject line!)

Without further ado, here are the Top Ten Reasons NOT to buy ArtiFactual: Tales of the Erotique Mystique:

10. They say it's paranormal, but there isn’t one vampire or shape shifter in the whole book.

9. Having your life’s work threatened is no reason to be rude!

8. You think Bruce should've ditched the Philly Cream Cheese tart and stayed in California with the hot gay environmentalist surfer-lawyer.

7. The words "mattress" and "picnic" should never be used in the same sentence.

6. Only homeless people are allowed to wander museums talking to themselves.

5. You think that Carrara diletto is made with olive oil, garlic and parmesan.

4. Female ghosts never go into the men’s room; it’s impolite.

3. A book set in Philadelphia and they don’t go to a single Flyers, 76’ers, Phillies or Eagles game? That’s just wrong.

2. Frivolous lawsuits are a perfectly acceptable way of denying homoerotic impulses.


CAUTION: Contents hot. May cause sexual arousal, romantic inclinations, and an appetite for sex toys.

Romantic Times Review Of Artifactual

RT Review of ArtiFactual

by Alessia Brio and Will Belegon

RT Rating:
Category: EROTICA
Published: May 2007
Type: Erotica Fiction (E-book, Anthology, Fantasy)
These four stories follow the main characters as they discover the amazing time-travel properties of sexual artifacts, where they participate in consensual bondage, same-gender sex, masturbation and much oral sex. This fascinating premise is disappointingly undeveloped and the last story presents an anti-morality message that has the heroine appearing mean-spirited.

Summary: n the first story, "Erotique," Mandy's great-aunt Vivian has passed on and left her the sex shop and museum, with the stipulation that she spend one night in the museum. Hands-on exhibits take on a new meaning when the magic they possess is revealed and Mandy shares the experience with her boyfriend, Bruce. In "Switch," a new sex toy apparently causes Mandy and Bruce to switch bodies. A trip to Easter Island reveals secrets about Aunt Vivian and puts Mandy and Bruce in danger in "Amichu." Then a lawsuit against the store places Mandy and Bruce at odds and "Closing Arguments" could destroy their relationship. (, dl $7.00)

—Susan Mobley

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Author Targeted For Discrimination By Hyatt

Author Laura Baumbach was one of my fellow authors at Romantic Times in Houston last week. Unfortunately, her experience was far from Happily Ever After. Indeed, it would be far more accurately shelved with things like Richard Wright's Native Son or similar tales of discrimination. Indeed, the only thing "romantic" about it was the negative nostalgia it created for the bad old days of openly hypocritical and hateful behavior.

The exact story is best left to she who experienced it, especially since she writes it so well. It is, after all, what she does. You can find it here, at her blog.

The behavior of the Hyatt was despicable. They clearly discriminated against a specific subject. The area where the items in question were set up was deep in the heart of an area filled with the convention. There were no business meetings or public events happening in this area of the hotel. Their refusal to explain their actions to Laura indicates that they knew that doing so would create legal issues for them. I wonder just how prepared they are going to be to discuss them with the ACLU?

Please go and read Laura's account. Please post a comment to her blog showing your support and spread the word to others about this situation. A business the size of Hyatt only pays attention to one thing... money. If we can create enough buzz that they start fearing it will hurt them on the bottom line, we'll have done our job. Also, Hyatt spends a lot of money at the corporate level advertising to the gay community and seeking their vacation dollars. Let's make them spend some on damage control.

I for one will not stand quiet while they drag my neighbors into the shadows. Nor should you. There is a poem attributed to Martin Niemoller about the inactivity of German intellectuals against the Nazi's...

First they came for the Socialists and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for me, and there was no one left
to speak up for me.

Speak up!