Of all the things that can affect the way people see us, the one I feel has the most impact has nothing to do with our appearance.
I had a short visit with someone I know through work yesterday. This young lady is extremely attractive anyway, but yesterday she was absolutely stunning. Now, I admit to being biased...Like I just said, I already find her attractive so I am more susceptible to being stunned. But there was something more there.
Being the curious person I am, I wondered what was different. I tried to discover by making comments about her hair, even her makeup. (Tell me girls, when's the last time a straight forty year old man asked you if you were wearing a new color of lipstick?) Unable to determine anything I finally just told her I thought she looked great and wanted to know what was different. At first she just mentioned putting a bit of a curl in her hair, but then she leaned in and confided something else.
Note: Don't ask what it was, fools. I said she "confided". She said it under her breath at a volume for my ears alone. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you.
What I will say is that it was something that would make any person feel like they were desirable.
Did you ever wonder why you go through times where you just can't find someone and then as soon as you get in a relationship, everybody wants you? There is no correlation between the way you look on the outside. You didn't suddenly lose inches off your waist. Your hair didn't get more body. Your shoulders didn't broaden, your complexion didn't clear, you didn't gain a cup size overnight.
But the energy that you're projecting is radically different. You know you're worthwhile, because there is someone new in your life telling you so. That is terribly empowering.
The same thing can happen with other factors. Anything that affects how you feel about yourself can change how others feel about you. A promotion at work, being on a winning ballclub, a new car, even getting compliments about your writing (hint, hint!)
Jack Palance, the legendary tough guy actor who is best known to my generation as "Curly" in the City Slickers movies, did a series of commercials that ended with the tagline, "Confidence is very sexy, don't ya think?"
Yes, I do.